A few months ago, I was working on an art project in which I used the poetry from Ted Hughes’ ‘Birthday Letters’. Extracting the last phrases from every poem in the book, I constructed a poem of my own.
I don’t know about anyone else, but for me songs are like bookmarks in my life. I can associate a song with an event, a feeling, a place, a friend. Songs become attached to my personal timeline, and listening to them can transport me back.
Here are the main songs that have stuck to me this past academic year, what they represent, and what I now feel when I listen to them
Today was deadline day for the final project of our foundation diploma in art and design. Here is a list of the lessons I have learned and the things I have experienced in this rollercoaster of a year:
alternative title: ‘unrelenting jealousy’
Today I visited a small art gallery in my hometown, which I have been in a few times before. Immediately I was drawn to a stack of etchings that were new into the gallery, by an artist called Laurie rudling. I found myself feeling quite emotional at how beautiful and delicate the little etchings were. Perhaps this is because I myself have been etching in the print room at university, so I know the work and effort that goes into it. I began studying the marks in detail, and trying to work out how the artist achieved all the layers and marks. By this point I probably looked a bit peculiar to the gallery owner…
When all else fails, write it down. That’s what people tell me to do, anyway.
It’s hard to constantly assess my artwork when something much bigger is going on in my brain, and has been for a long while. My crippling anxiety seems to have pushed everything else away, and made itself the priority in my life. It’s hard to accept that it has happened again, and that I’m facing the massive struggle that won’t move for anything.
I haven’t posted here for a while, mainly because I felt like I was being far too pretentious for my own good. But after constantly struggling with ideas for projects, I finally feel like I’m getting the hang of creating work without having big ideas.
As the first term of my foundation year comes to a close, I’m astounded by how fast time has gone. It’s already been 7 weeks, a quarter of the time I’ll spend at UCA this year. For some time I have been feeling very content with my current creative situation; spending most of my time making things, and broadening my artistic horizons. However what’s coming up now is the obstacle that I cant avoid – the seasonal change from autumn to winter, and my inevitable emotional ‘crash’ after this 7 weeks of excitement and novelty of a new place.
If the fine art pathway felt like a new beginning for me, then the graphic design rotation was a huge leap. Organising my portfolio from the past six weeks has reminded me quite how new graphic design was to me. I had never used adobe illustrator, never designed a poster using a computer and never in fact created anything with the discernible purpose of promotion. Whether what I made is any good remains to be seen, but I certainly am pleased to have tackled the project and created a decent outcome.
I like to tell people that art is ‘my thing’, because it’s what I enjoy and it’s the one thing I feel mildly skilled at. But in reality, art is so alien to me that I seem to have new revelations every day.
My name is Ellen, and in September I started studying at University for the Creative Arts in Farnham, doing a foundation diploma in art and design. This is my new beginning.