In mid August, with the new uni year approaching, I felt I would need somewhere to jot down my thoughts and feelings. I have had sketchbooks, diaries, notebooks and all manner of other things, but never a journal. *Cue excellent excuse to buy more stationery*
It’s been a long summer, but somehow it has gone in a flash. From mid May to now, I’ve been mulling around – from Farnham to Dorking, a short holiday away, meeting up with friends and trying to get into a better mindset ready for September. All of this has been punctuated with music; a mix of new releases, nostalgic tunes or old tracks that I’ve only just discovered, this list of music is what’s shaped my summer, 2017.
A few months ago, I was working on an art project in which I used the poetry from Ted Hughes’ ‘Birthday Letters’. Extracting the last phrases from every poem in the book, I constructed a poem of my own.
I don’t know about anyone else, but for me songs are like bookmarks in my life. I can associate a song with an event, a feeling, a place, a friend. Songs become attached to my personal timeline, and listening to them can transport me back.
Here are the main songs that have stuck to me this past academic year, what they represent, and what I now feel when I listen to them
Today was deadline day for the final project of our foundation diploma in art and design. Here is a list of the lessons I have learned and the things I have experienced in this rollercoaster of a year:
alternative title: ‘unrelenting jealousy’
Today I visited a small art gallery in my hometown, which I have been in a few times before. Immediately I was drawn to a stack of etchings that were new into the gallery, by an artist called Laurie rudling. I found myself feeling quite emotional at how beautiful and delicate the little etchings were. Perhaps this is because I myself have been etching in the print room at university, so I know the work and effort that goes into it. I began studying the marks in detail, and trying to work out how the artist achieved all the layers and marks. By this point I probably looked a bit peculiar to the gallery owner…
When all else fails, write it down. That’s what people tell me to do, anyway.
It’s hard to constantly assess my artwork when something much bigger is going on in my brain, and has been for a long while. My crippling anxiety seems to have pushed everything else away, and made itself the priority in my life. It’s hard to accept that it has happened again, and that I’m facing the massive struggle that won’t move for anything.